Why Does My Baby Cry So Much? A Letter to Every Mum Who Feels Like She's Doing Everything Wrong

If you're reading this with a baby in one arm and a cold cup of coffee in the other, I want you to know something first:

You're not alone.

One of the questions I hear the most from mums is, "Why is my baby crying so much?" And honestly? I asked myself the exact same question almost every day during those first months.

When my daughter was born, there were days when I felt I had tried everything. She had been fed, her nappy was clean, she wasn't too hot or too cold... yet she still cried. As a first time mum, I immediately assumed I was doing something wrong.

After talking to other mums both mums surrounded by grandparents, aunties and cousins, and foreign mums like me who were figuring it all out without family nearby

I realized something incredibly important:

Every baby cries. Every baby is different. And every mum eventually learns to understand her own baby's language.

Sometimes you don't need another parenting tip. You just need other mums who get it.

Babies cry. We all know it and we've all been there.

Baby Wearers is a space where you can come exactly as you are, baby included. No judgement, no pressure and no expectation that your baby will behave perfectly.

Come meet other mums

Your Baby Isn't Giving You a Hard Time

One thing that helped me change my mindset was remembering that my baby wasn't crying to make my life difficult. She was crying because it was the only way she knew how to communicate.

Sometimes she was hungry.

Sometimes she was tired.

Sometimes she wanted to be held.

Sometimes she was overstimulated.

Sometimes... I never figured out why.

And that's okay.

Not every cry has a clear answer.

Comparison Is the Biggest Confidence Killer

One friend told me her baby slept through the night at three months.

Another said hers only wanted contact naps.

Someone else's baby loved the pram.

Mine hated it.

One baby happily accepted a bottle.

Another refused every bottle on the market.

If motherhood has taught me anything, it's this:

The moment you stop comparing your baby to someone else's, motherhood becomes much lighter.

Your baby's journey is their own.

Things That Helped Me (and Other Mums)

These aren't magic solutions, but they're things many of us found helpful.

Baby Wearing

This was probably the biggest game changer for me.

Some babies simply want to be close. Wearing your baby can help them feel safe while giving you two free hands to make lunch, answer the door or simply breathe for a moment.

In Malta, you can find carriers at stores, and there are also second hand options through local parenting Facebook groups.

If you're unsure how to use one safely, joining our Baby Wearers class is a wonderful way to learn while meeting other mums.

White Noise

Many babies settle better with familiar background sounds.

We used a simple Spotify playlist at home, although even a fan or a white noise app worked on difficult days.

Swaddling (for young babies)

Some babies love being swaddled, while others absolutely hate it.

We tried a few different swaddles before finding one that worked. Brands like Love To Dream and Ergobaby are available in several baby stores across Malta.

Going Outside

When everything felt overwhelming, a short walk often helped both of us.

One thing I love about living in Malta is that even in winter, there are many beautiful places to walk with a baby.

Sometimes a stroll along the promenade wasn't just calming for my baby it was exactly what I needed too.

Don't Be Afraid to Try Different Products

Every baby has different preferences.

Some babies love one dummy and reject another.

Some prefer one bottle shape over another.

Some sleep better in a sleeping bag, while others don't.

Don't feel pressured to buy everything at once. Borrow from friends if you can, buy second hand when possible, and remember that expensive doesn't always mean better.

For Foreign Mums Living in Malta

This part is especially close to my heart.

Living abroad while raising a baby can be incredibly lonely.

You don't have your mum popping in to hold the baby while you shower.

You don't have grandparents offering to cook dinner.

Sometimes it's just you and your partner trying to figure everything out.

If this is you, please know that there are many mums here who understand exactly how you feel.

One of the best things I ever did was start meeting other mothers. we just needed another adult who understood.

Your village doesn't always have to be family.

Sometimes you build it yourself.

And If You're Lucky Enough to Have Your Village...

Accept the help.

Let grandma cuddle the baby.

Say yes when someone offers to bring dinner.

Take the nap.

Go for the shower.

You don't have to prove you can do everything on your own.

Trust Yourself

There will always be someone online telling you you're holding your baby too much.

Or not enough.

That your baby should sleep more.

Or less.

Should be eating more.

Or eating less.

Take advice with gratitude, but remember:

Nobody knows your baby better than you will.

That confidence doesn't appear overnight.

It grows one day at a time.

One Last Thing

If your baby cries more than you expected, it doesn't mean you're failing.

It doesn't mean you've created bad habits.

It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.

Sometimes babies simply need us.

One day you'll realize the crying has become less frequent, and you'll wonder when it happened.

Until then, be gentle with yourself.

Motherhood isn't about having all the answers.

It's about showing up, every single day, with love.

And that's already enough.

From one mum to another.